LINKS

Points
THIS WEEK'S POINTS

Lewis
A FLIBBLE TOO VAR

Yusef
MALLAH'S GUERILLAS

Dave
SWEETHOME CHICAGO

Tom+Simon
KEBABERDEEN

Elliot
VERTI KONG STRONG

Adam
BATSH-UYAI CRAZY

Gary
KRUL AND THE GANG

Frank
TRINITY RANGERS

Lorraine
NO WAY PEDRO

Christy
PROPER JOB!

Rich&Will
BALLS OF STEEL

Mike
HAMLET ACADEMICAL

RichHawk
MoLOExpress

Pool
PLAYER POOL

Reffin
REFFIN' HELL

Heroes&Villains
HEROES+VILLAINS

Cartwright
CARTWRIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

JCCup
JOHN CHARLES CUP

Rules
GRAPHS

Rules
THE RULES

Sched
SCHEDULE

Crutchman
INJURIES + SUSPENSIONS

APPELLE LES GENDARMES!

Table


Sacre bleu!  Les Guerillas sont les tetes chiens pour le deuxieme semaine consecutif.  This temps c'est un brillant 34 pointer, which enables them to depasser les Emplois Corrects et prenez le sixieme place.  (D'accord, assez de cela.)  Once again, Henderson performed mightily, bagging a personal tenner in the scouser's savaging of Southampton, while Harvey Nicholls Barnes scored again and Sheffield defenders Egan and Stevens added their clean sheets to Robertson's.  With goalie Pope due to face Yusef's favourite Arsenal, he took the option of picking his backup keeper, Patricio, who defied Man Utd for another clean. 

Two points back the Steel Balls also crept past Proper Job, into 7th, compressing the 5th - 8th scuffle into a mere 17 points.  Two Man Utd cleans, from De Gea and Lindelof, were complmented by four Spuds playing against Man City - brave selection - Aurier, Alli, Lamela and Moura, to the tune of 14 points.  But the big cheese is, as so often, Salah, who settles for just two goals and 9 points this time.

Cake crumbs go to Big Frank and the Trinity posse, who summon up a 29 pointer, despite falling victim, again, to the Glennster.  Clean sheets from 4 different teams, Leno, Tanganga, Baldock and Doherty lay the foundation, and SpudSon bags the only goal for a fiver.

WEEK 25 REPORT

Weekly Report.doc Weekly Report.pdf

BO' SELECTA

Hoddle4
BoSelecta1 BoSelecta2 BoSelecta3What a day!  Calloo callay! Oh frabjous joy and beamish boy, we are gallumphing back!  You might gather that I'm in a pretty good mood, and the reason for that is that no fewer than SIX of you made selection decisions that delivered you into my hands.  The Guerillas, despite bagging the headline, might have had an extra 11 points, had Sanchez and Tarkowski replaced Soyuncu and Sterling.  Batshu-yai Crazy and the Chicago boys each dropped 13, Batshit by picking Jimenez, Grealish and Martial instead of Baldock, Ndombele and Sigurdsson, and Chicago going for Soyuncu, Haller and Walker instead of Rudiger (two goals! Sob.) Fleck and Moutinho.  On 14 we find Trinity picking Pereira, Maddison and Wood, instead of Stevens, Egan and Winks, and also Verti Kong, who needed to pick Mount, Tarkowski and Daniel James rather than Reece James, Rodri and the Gundog.  Top of the pile, though, are the Flibble boys, who still manage to creep past Krul and the Gang into third, despite dropping 15 by going for Doucoure, Cathcart and Rodriguez instead of Tielemans, Neves and the Walnut.  Yippee-ki-yay, pheasantpluckers!

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

WHammer Snodgrass is positively bubbling over with joy at his two goal eleven point Top Dog performance.  I seem to remember buying him at one time last season, but then discarding him shortly afterwards on account of him being a useless git.  He's come a long way since then - maybe it's Moe!

REFFIN' HELL

CollinaOnly one result changer this time, at Bournemouth, where Anthony Taylor and VAR Stuart Atwell conspired to decide that the goalkeeper racing out of his goal, leaping in the air and punching an opponent in the face was not foul play.  Not a follow through after punching the ball, mark you, just a straightforward right hook.  I'm beginning to think that a prerequisite for membership of PGMOL is having every single brain cell bleached into submission by the FA.  A simply farcical decision, robbing Villa of a share of the points.  Competing with Taylor for Twat of the Day, though, was Kevin Friend and his VAR Simon Hooper at Liverpool.  Liverpool should have had a penalty for a Long rugby tackle on Firmino, and Southampton should have had one for a Firmino trip on Ings.  Not only that, but with Friend waving play on, Liverpool raced to the other end and scored their first goal, a double injustice.  Other incidents included Salah handling the ball in the Sot'on area, then shooting wide - not penalised, and Robertson playing a quite brilliant backpass to Alisson, which he picked up with impunity - "accidental pass", said Friend. Utter bullshit.  Elsewhere, Andy Madley made some kinda history by awarding a red card to Palace's Ward, then consulting the pitchside monitor and converting the red to yellow.  Excellent, but he blotted his record by booking Baldock for pulling Zaha's arm, but failing to book him again when he kicked Zaha comprehensively up in the air.  Mike Dean also got in on the act by only booking Sterling for a tackle on Alli identical to the one that had Aubameyang sent off and banned for three matches.  He then refused City a penalty when Aurier hacked down Aguero, allowing play to continue for about two minutes until the VAR told him he'd f'ked it up and that a penalty should be awarded.  By the way, if you want a good laugh, take a look at Sky Sports' RefWatch on Mondays, where Dermot Gallagher tries, with gradually increasing desperation and a rictus grin, to defend the frequently laughable decisions of the PGMOL boys over the weekend.  The baldy little weasel hops about, deploying what I reckon must be deliberately unintelligible shite to excuse unforgiveable decisions and rank poor performances from his mates.  It at least has the compensation of being funny, but the game is in a poor way if the MIB need this kind of advocate.

SECRET SQUIRREL'S DIARY

squirrelGary sent me his team selection this week, as usual, but felt the need, about five minutes later, to explain it.  The auto-complete function on his tablet had decided that it knew better than he did who should be picked for the weekend matches, and had inserted in the midfield a certain Mr Freakish.  Naturally, it should have been Grealish, but I reckon that's a pretty accurate substitution.

 TRANSFERS

Here's what I know about NewBlokes at the close of the transfer window.  The first three are Premium Players and if you're interested in any of them you'll need to let me know by 13:00 on Thursday 6th Feb. at which time I'll invite bids.  The other blokes are all class 2 or 3 and are available immediately.

Pablo Mari, Arsenal defender £7mill class 1:
Steven Bergwijn, Spurs midfield, £7.3mill, class 1:
Bruno Fernandes, Man Utd midfield, £9m class 1


Loiodice, Wolves midfield, £5mill, class 3:
Podence, Wolves midfield, £6mill, class 2:
Samatta, Villa striker, £5mill, class 3:
Lazaro, Newcastle midfield, £5mill, class 3:
Soucek, West Ham midfield, £6mill, class 2:
Bowen, West Ham striker, £6mill, class 2:
Ighalo, Man Utd striker, £6mill, class 2:
Baston, Villa striker, £5mill, class 3:
Brownhill, Burnley midfield, £5mill, class 3:
Berge, Sheff Utd midfield, £6mill, class 2:
Zivkovic, Sheff Utd striker, £5mill, class 3:
Retsos, Sheff Utd defender, £5mill, class 3:

Don't forget that one of your  "Free" transfer weeks is specifically for use during the January transfer window.  As I'm a generous bloke, you have until first fixture kickoff on the 8th February to use this free week, at which time, if unused, it will evaporate.

 CARTWRIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP


CartTable

Game 15, and Verti Kong Strong create a bit of a gap at the top as they duff Hamlet 18 - 5, and Krul and the Gang are held 19 each by Proper Job. The Kebabers move into 3rd with a 25 - 8 over MoLO, and Balls of Steel slide into 4th by wiping the Batshit 32 - 24.  My Chicago stars drop to 5th after a losing encounter with Flibble, 24 - 27, who rise to 9th.  Frank's Trinity cruelly crush the hopes and dreams of his daughter's team, 29 - 5, and all for the sake of climbing one place up the table.  Note that I had the decency to lose to my offspring.

PREDICT A £MILLION


Oh yes, we're back on the right track.  The first two results were very encouraging and I could see the £250K hovering just around the corner.  It was not to be, but at least a dozen points is enough to bag the £2mill, with Tom picking up the second place £1mill for a niner.
Predics

HIT PARADE & SKILLMEISTER

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