BATTIER THAN
NORA
A raft of low-scoring draws means limited points for everyone and no
mahoosive totals. Therefore it is a bit of a surprise to find
Adam's Batshu-yai Crazy boys ringing up a
more-than-enough-thank-you-very-much 37 pointer. Wolfie Jimenez
is, appropriately enough, the alpha dog with 8 points, followed by 7
from Gazzaniga - saved Deeney's penalty - fivers from Joe Gomez and
Wolfie Traore, and goals from Calvert-Lewin and Grealyboy. It's 14
better than anyone else, and vaults them over Pedro and within 2 of
Trinity.
Second banana - barely worth mentioning, but I have to because it's
the top dog - goes to Tom's Kebab boys, who scratch up 23 from some of
the same suspects as Batshit. They, too, have Grealish, Traore and
Gazzaniga, but their supplemental comes from the mighty Aguero, who is
again on target with a double-strike 8 pointer.
My Chicago boys and Krul and the Gang share the cake crumbs, each
slithering to a rather shabby little 22 pointer. His comes from
Van Dijk's niner, with goals from Grealish and Calvert-Lewin; mine comes
mainly from 3 subs who made it off the bench - arfa Harvey Barnes,
scorer John Fleck and a triple from Jonjo Shelvey. Mind you, I paid
£29.2mill for two players who weren't even in their club squads, so
thank Jeebers the subs stepped up.
WEEK
23 REPORT
BO' SELECTA
Down to a single victim this week, thanks to the weedy, low-scoring performances of the PL
teams. Gary's Krul boys didn't let me down though, picking Mount
instead of Traore to drop 5, then completely losing faith in their
nominative leader and leaving him out in favour of Schmeichel, which
cost another arfa. Must say I'm not sure I would have done it any
differently.
PLAYER
OF THE WEEK
Both the Toon's Isaac Hayden
and Scouser Van Dijk join the 'goal plus clean sheet' club and clock up
niners. They also join the 'shouting with glee' club, but you can see
that for yourselves
OLD NICK'S CHOPPER
First Chop of the New Year, and it goes to the sad single digit effort
of Big Frank's Trinity Rangers. Their boys just seem to have had a
collective 'can't be arsed' week - except for Chris Wood, who scored -
resulting in a dejected 8 pointer, sitting like a sad sack on a block of
stone, way over in the corner weepin' all alone. Goodbyeeee....
REFFIN' HELL
No
result changers, but another case of VAR stupidity to tarnish the
system. Just as VAR was beginning to demonstrate that it can be a
force for good - getting several decisions correct in a timely and clear
manner - Liverpool welcomed Man Utd and Paul Tierney, the VAR (born in
Wigan) managed to disallow a Liverpool goal. He did this in such a
fashion that it prompted Graeme Souness to say "VAR isn't some kind of
super-computer, perfect in every way, it's human error, and they don't
know what they're doing, that's the bottom line." Even Roy Keane
agreed. Apparently Tierney's ruling was that Van Dijk wasn't going for
the ball, and therefore had fouled De Gea causing him to drop the ball.
The fact is that Van Dijk had his back to De Gea, had his eyes on the
ball, and had his arms down by his sides when contact was made.
After the ball hit the back of the net, De Gea spivved out, racing
towards Craig Pawson, the onfield referee, shouting, waving his arms and
jabbing his finger in Pawson's direction, for which he was booked.
Of course, De Gea is such a terrific keeper that we all know that
every one of the 27 goals conceded by Man Utd this season were the fault
of the opposition, the referee, the ball boys, the sun in his eyes, or
the noisy seagull behind the goal. But this one was just a
flat-out balls up, and should have stood.
I had thought that
perhaps the ShiteHawk Maddison was a reformed character, not having
caught him doing his Greg Louganis impressions lately. But alas,
it is not so. He was at it again this weekend, and reappears in
Cheat's Corner.
SECRET
SQUIRREL'S DIARY
To my surprise there was little interest in the newly available defenders,
Alonso, Alderweireld, Lovren and Walker. So little that it came
down to Christy and myself bidding for Walker ( I got him for £22mill)
and then Christy picking up Alonso and the Spud, while I took Lovren.
These may end up being bargains, but so far Alderweireld was the only
one who appeared, keeping a clean sheet. Now I feel foolish.
TRANSFERS
I'll have some more NewBlokes for you after the midweek fixtures, but
don't hold your breath.
Don't forget that one of your "Free" transfer weeks is specifically
for use during the January transfer window. As I'm a generous bloke,
you have until first fixture kickoff on the 8th February to use this
free week, at which time, if unused, it will evaporate.
CARTWRIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Game 14,
and Verti Kong Strong hang on to a 1 point lead with a 1 point win over
the Steel Balls, 16 - 15. Krul and the Gang hold 2nd, rolling in a
22 - 4 over Pedro, and Chicago drive into 3rd by doing MoLOExpress 22 -
14. Kebabers also slip past the Steel Balls into 4th with a 23 - 9 over
Hamlet, while the Guerillas pip Flibble 21 - 20 to go 6th. And
finally, Proper Job have shocking week, but would have lost anyway to
the high scoring Batshu-yai, 4 - 37 the horrible truth.
PREDICT A
£MILLION
Gary collects the £2mill by making two spot on calls plus picking
Norwich to beat Bournemouth. I got two correct as well to grab the
second prize, but nobody called Man City v Palace as a draw, Wolves to
beat Southampton, or Brighton v Villa to be a draw. We need a
better crystal ball.
HIT PARADE
& SKILLMEISTER
