A GRAND KRU
Gary's Kruel boys come storming back, Schmeichel's defiance of the
Arse being topped by goals from Pulisic (again), Barnes, Ings and Mane,
a tally that makes them the top goalscorers in the league.
With arfa Chelsea midfield points and no negative scores, they're
comfortably this week's top Shih Tzus. Coulda been even better,
too, although he doesn't blow off enough points to attract Glenn, he
could have selected Chelsea's Emerson and Newkie Almiron for an extra
8, enough to get past Christy and home in on Elliot's tail.
In
fact it's only Christy's second banana that keeps her boys in 4th spot.
Just the one goal, from the irrepressible 7 point Vardy, but clean
sheets from Zouma and Tomori from Chelsea, and Soyuncu from Leicester.
McTominay, Kovacic and Pickford chip in the extra tenner, and it's just
enough to keep the Krul Gang at bay.
Sharing the banana with Christy are Rich and William, whose Balls of
Steel also pull out a 33 pointer. Salah, Abraham and Ings are all
on goalscoring form, with Emerson's clean sheet and 7 more from Manks De Gea
and McTominay, they snatch a half a banana.
WEEK
12 REPORT
BO' SELECTA
Not quite the return to form I was hoping for, but I do derive great
pleasure from ticketing Frank, for some reason. Don't get me
wrong, he's an awfully nice chap, generous to a fault and very good
company down the pub. But I can never quite dislodge the thought
that he's always rather fancied Leyton Orient. Nor that he set
fire to Enfield Town Football Club's new mower. But most of all, I
think, is that he's a fully qualified referee, and therefore part of the
massive whistle-tootling conspiracy that is slowly wrecking the
beautiful game. See Reffin' Hell for the details of this week's
bathos, but meanwhile if Frank had picked Baldock, Harry Wilson, Ndidi
and Egan instead of Ake, King Josh, Sergeant Wilson and newboy
Lundstram, he would have grabbed an extra 14 points and been right in
the scuffle with Gary and Christy.
PLAYER OF THE WEEK
Watford's Gerard Deulofeu hasn't had much to smile about recently,
what with lurking at the bottom of the PL table and having his mate
Deeney permanently in the treatment room, but the match against
Norwich has changed all that. With a brilliant solo goal and an
assist for the second, he bags a niner and becomes this week's Hero.
Who said he was mad to leave Barcelona?
REFFIN' HELL
Odd how the worst refereeing seems to occur in the biggest games innit?
The top of the table clash between Liverpool and Man City was officiated
by Michael Oliver, on the whistle, with Linos Burt and Bennett,
fourth official Mike Dean and VAR Paul Tierney. You'd think with
that amount of experience in the officiating ranks, they'd be able to
get it right, wouldn't you? Yeah, you'd be quite wrong. The
refusal by all of them to award a penalty for Alex-Arnold's handball is
inexplicable. Without going into a forensic analysis, none of the
potentially exculpating conditions were met, and a penalty should have
been given. This would remove Fabinho's goal from the tally, as it
was scored immediately after the non-decision, and would give City a 1-0 lead.
No problems with the goals from Salah (not offside), Mane and Bernardo
Silva, which would have made the score 2 - 2, but the clincher was the
failure to penalise Mane for a quite clear shove in the back on Raheem
Sterling. Sterling went down, of course, and I assume VAR looked
at it and somehow reached the conclusion that although Mane had
obviously shoved him, it wasn't hard enough to cause him to fall.
Just how they determine what is a 'hard enough' shove in the back, is
another mystery. Anyway, it now seems that merely 'attempting to
trip' an opponent in the box will attract a penalty, but actually
shoving them in the back may not. How much further up their own
arses can the FA get? They can already taste the Brylcreem.
Elsewhere,
there was wide disbelief and scorn heaped on the VAR decision to
penalise Sheff Utd's Lundstram for offside in the build up to a
McGoldrick 'goal' against Spuds. If you didn't see it, Lundstram
was out on the right wing when he received the ball, he crossed it and
it was headed away by Dier, but straight to Sheffield's Fleck.
Fleck then laid the ball off to Stevens, who provided a terrific cross
for McGoldrick to tap in. The fact that it was only Lundstram's
toe that was ruled offside, and that the technology is not accurate
enough to make decisions with that degree of precision, AND that after
the 'offside' the ball was headed clear by a defender (new 'phase' rule)
all suggest that the ruling was erroneous. Sheff thereby robbed of
the win. Burnley's opening goal came directly from a corner which
should have been a goal kick - didn't change the result, but it's the
type of officiating error that is never corrected. And Guendouzi
grabbed Soyuncu's shoulder as he ran towards a cross into the Arsenal
box, but was absolved of wrongdoing by VAR, although EVERYBODY else knew
it should have been a penalty.
By the way, just heard Neil
Swarbrick, the FA man responsible for implementing VAR, claiming that
it's working very well and he wouldn't change anything about it,
presumably not even the decision that earned Brighton a penalty and all
three points against Everton when Keane supposedly fouled Connolly, and
for which the FA have apologised and admitted VAR was wrong.
Only one diver clearly spotted this week, and it's Private Fraser, who
tried to deceive Son of Ron at Newcastle, but unfortunately did it when
SoR was actually looking at him.
SECRET SQUIRREL'S DIARY
I
see my hope that decency would prevail at Spurs in the matter of Son's
red card was forlorn. With Gomes barely recovered from the
anaesthetic, the Spuddy suits were badgering the FA to rescind the red
card. It's true that the 'tackle' itself may not have constituted
dangerous play, but the intention behind it most certainly did. It
happened mere seconds after Son believed he'd been elbowed in the face
by Gomes, and there wasn't the slightest possibility that Son could win
the ball. It therefore clearly falls into the category of
deliberate foul play. In other words there was nothing accidental
about the tackle, it wasn't simply mistimed, or a slip on a greasy
surface, it was made with the intention of stopping Gomes' run by
tripping him. In any situation, within football or not, the
consequences of a deliberate act are the responsibility of the
perpetrator, and it may be that Son did not intend Gomes' injury, but
nevertheless he caused it. The fact that he is clear to continue
playing while his victim is facing a year of painful rehabilitation is a
farce.
CARTWRIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Game 8, and it's Kong's week off, which enables the Jobbies to go to
number 1 with a 33 - 7 over MoLOExpress. Kong stay second, but
Trinity take down the Guerillas 25 - 21 to jump over SweetHome into
third. Krul and the Gang rise above Kebaberdeen into 5th by beating
Chicago 35 - 24, while the Kebabers go down 25 - 28 to the
Batsh-uyai boys, and are leapfrogged by Balls of Steel, 33 - 1
mashers of Hamlet. Flibble double their points tally by squeaking
past Pedro 31 - 26.
Follow the picture link of Ben Cartwright, from 'Bonanza' for the full details of the Cartwright Championship.
PREDICT A £MILLION
Week 12, and I'm delighted to report that SweetHome Chicago are £2mill
better off, thanks to my 16 point predictions. Lew gets the
runner-up £1mill with 14, and all I've got to do now is come up with the
other 14 points I need for the full £real250K.
