LINKS

Points
THIS WEEK'S POINTS

Lewis
A FLIBBLE TOO VAR

Yusef
MALLAH'S GUERILLAS

Dave
SWEETHOME CHICAGO

Tom+Simon
KEBABERDEEN

Elliot
VERTI KONG STRONG

Adam
BATSH-UYAI CRAZY

Gary
KRUL AND THE GANG

Frank
TRINITY RANGERS

Lorraine
NO WAY PEDRO

Christy
PROPER JOB!

Rich&Will
BALLS OF STEEL

Mike
HAMLET ACADEMICAL

RichHawk
MoLOExpress

Pool
PLAYER POOL

Reffin
REFFIN' HELL

Heroes&Villains
HEROES+VILLAINS

Cartwright
CARTWRIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

JCCup
JOHN CHARLES CUP

Rules
THE RULES

Sched
SCHEDULE

Crutchman
INJURIES + SUSPENSIONS

CRAZY CAPERS

Table


After last week's explosion from Pedro, I thought it would be a while before we saw another freakish giganto score, and while we haven't quite got that, we might have done.  Adam's Batsh-uayi Crazy squad are the suspects, and they take the headline and the big cake for a 38 pointer, which is pretty good going, but see Glenn and Bo' Selecta for the grisly details of what hight have been.   Trust in the Special One was rewarded by two Spuddy clean sheets, from Gazzaniga and Vertonghen, and Sheffy Baldock, while not clean, bagged 8 with a goal and assist.  Another 8 came from Sissoko, who rounded off the Spuddy goal fest against Burnley, and there was a fiver from Richarlison and a goal from Grealish.  They do not advance up the table, but both they and Flibble help to compress the middle of the table.

36 points and second banana go to Richard & William, who do rise from 9th to 7th, skipping past Pedro and the Guerillas.  It's largely the Spuds, of course, with 8 from Moura, arfa from Alli, and a fiver from Aurier, but there's also an arfa from Salah and, almost unbelievably, another goal from Danny Ings.  There's no stopping him.

Sharing the third place cake crumbs we have Flibble, the Guerillas and Trinity, who each find a way to clock up 32. Flibble have 8 from Oxbow-Chamberpot and arfa from newboy Shelvey; the Guerillas have  7 from Pepe le Pew and an arfa from Henderson, as well as a coupla cleans; and Trinity have 8 from Diogo Jota, 7 from ShiteHawk Maddison, and an arfa from Son, which includes the goal of the season.

WEEK 16 REPORT

Weekly Report.doc Weekly Report.pdf

BO' SELECTA

Hoddle4
BoSelecta1 BoSelecta1A couple more wastrels come in for their Bo' Selecting tickets this week, and they're a pair of corkers.  None of yer piddling 10 or 11 point drops for these boys - no, they get right into it.  Big Frank (I know you're all pleased to see him back after his absence last week) stumbles over 17 points, leaving out his Sheffield boys Egan, Stevens and Baldock, who might have replaced Wood,   Doherty and Sarn't Wilson for a 17 point profit.  But even better from my viewpoint are this week's headliners, the Batshit boys, whose 38 pointer might have been a ring-tightening 57.  All Adam had to do was pick Keita, Martial and Gomez, and drop Mount,   Ward-Prowse and Chilwell. Oh boyoboyoboy.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Is he pleased to have scored, or has he just been stung in the nuts by a swarm of wasps?  It's hard to tell, but the HarriKane seems to be responding well to The Special One.  Which raises the question, why didn't Spuds play like this for Poch?  Were they just coasting, deliberately playing badly?  Because I'm pretty sure that would amount to criminal fraud, though it would be difficult to prove.

OLD NICK'S CHOPPER

satan 
How are the mighty fallen?  In this case last week's blockbusting headliners No Way Pedro, fall from the heights of a 54 point Himalayan peak to the depths of an 11 point moley hill.  I do not even need to sharpen my weapon as I dispatch the snivelling wretches.

REFFIN' HELL

CollinaGrabbing an opponent round the neck and dragging them to the ground is such a dangerous manouevre that in Rugby, a game that encourages players to grab each other and fling them around, it is known as a 'neck roll' and is often punished by a red card.  Gary Cahill perpetuated just such a tackle this week, on Troy Deeney.  Not only did Son of Ron see nothing wrong with that, but his VAR, Andre Marriner, agreed with him.  So two senior referees have a clear view of one of the most dangerous moves in sport, yet decline to issue a red card, a yellow card or a penalty kick.  I'm used to official incompetence, but at this level it's bordering on criminality.   

At the Manchester Derby, Fred threw himself to the ground to try to block a cross.  The ball hit his hand - clearly in an 'unnatural position' since it was on the ground - but apparently this is no longer handball, and nothing was given.  In a similar event, Shaw threw his body in front of a cross in an attempt to block it and succeeded in deflecting the ball behind for a corner, off his elbow.  Apparently this is also no longer a handball, as nothing was given for this either.  A cynical man would guess that the handball rule had been amended to exclude ANY contact between upper limbs and the ball, as long as the limb in question was wearing a Manchester United shirt.

Three more Greg Louganis wannabe's this time.  Man Utd's Daniel James, Villa's John McGinn and our old friend Wobbler Zaha were all guilty of third rate efforts to dupe the referees, and were deservedly unsuccessful.

SECRET SQUIRREL'S DIARY

squirrelSome names from the lower leagues who will surely be gracing the Premiership before too long.  At Yeovil, Courtney Duffus; at Bolton, Joe Dodoo; and at Southend, Brandon Goodship, known as Lollipop.  I'd buy all of them.

Commenting on the West Ham v Arsenal match, ex Arse-boy Alan Smith, shortly after Arsenal's second goal, as Leno and defenders casually knocked the ball around their own area - "I may be wrong, but I think we've seen the end of the goalscoring for tonight."  29 seconds later, Pepe to Aubameyang and "Would you like fries with those words, Alan?"

Watching Villa being dismantled by Leicester, I observed Jack Grealish, off the ball, run full into Ricardo Pereira and flatten him.  Nothing was seen by any official, so nothing was done.  A case for retrospective action?  Not unless it's a potential red card, apparently.  So Grealyboy gets away with his nasty, petty little bit of violence.  I don't like Grealish, he's a cheating coward and he has a stupid haircut and poncey socks.

Follow the picture link of Ben Cartwright, from 'Bonanza' for the full details of the Cartwright Championship.

PREDICT A £MILLION


Tom swoops in to grab the £2mill for his 11 point predictions, and Elliot takes the £1mill for an 8 pointer.  
Predics

HIT PARADE & SKILLMEISTER

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